The Wednesday Word – Day

Day: noun – (often initial capital letter) a day assigned to a particular purpose or observance: New Year’s Day.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! This is one of the official holidays noted on calendars, even though we don’t get time off work here, and everyone is invited to celebrate the day regardless of their background. I’m not Irish but I’m wearing Lucky Leprechaun socks and shamrock earrings today nonetheless.

What I want to know is, who decides when the unofficial special days are, the ones that aren’t noted, and how do you find out when they are being held?

Below is an account of what happened to me recently as an example of what you can expect when you are one of the uninformed.

The car ahead of me is turning right, I think – it’s moving so slowly it’s hard to tell. Apparently inspired by the recent Olympic Games, the driver is obviously going for the gold in his chosen driving event: turning a corner as slowly as possible without actually stopping. I’m impressed; a turtle with a sprained ankle would move faster than this car. I’m sure the driver would be on the podium if he could make it there before the Games were over, the crowds dispersed and his win just a distant memory. Still, I would prefer that he move a little faster … okay, a lot faster. Come on, spin that wheel! You can do it! Hurry! Finally he makes the corner and I carry on straight, but I have an ominous feeling about what lies ahead.  Sure enough, I’m soon stuck behind a car going under the speed limit. We crawl down the street and mosey onto the freeway. Despite my mounting uneasiness, I’m briefly hopeful that I’ll be able to pull around the slowpoke and get my car up to normal highway speed, but it’s not to be. Not only is the person in the middle lane driving under the speed limit, so is the person in the so-called fast lane. All three lanes of traffic are effectively blocked by cars travelling at the same slow speed, and my worst fear is confirmed: it’s Drive in Slow Motion Day and I’ve missed the e-mail notification, again.

If I had advance warning of Drive in Slow Motion Days (which occur regularly, although I’ve been unable to discern a pattern) I would allow extra travel time and the day wouldn’t be quite as annoying. Without notice, it’s an exercise in frustration.

Just as irritating are the days when I set off for work innocently expecting business as usual, only to find that suddenly everyone is acting as though you need a Masters Degree  in English to fill out a simple form and an understanding of advanced calculus to complete basic math. Oh no, I groan to myself on those days, it’s Take a Stupid Pill with Breakfast Day. If there’s one thing you don’t want to be, it’s the only person who hasn’t taken a stupid pill. Unfortunately, following the instructions for taking your medication is important so you can’t just go ahead and pop your pill at lunch or afternoon tea. No, indeed, if you miss the breakfast popping, you’re doomed to be the only person not dazed and confused for the entire day. I don’t enjoy Take a Stupid Pill with Breakfast Day.

I’m sure you have some special days specific to your area and you probably agree that it’s frustrating being one of the uninformed. So, if you find out where to sign up for e-mail notification of all the unofficial holidays, please let me know.

Meanwhile, may the luck of the Irish be you today and always, but especially on the unofficial special days when you may need it the most.


1 Comment

Filed under The Wednesday Word

One response to “The Wednesday Word – Day

  1. Fiddlegirl

    Aha! Drive in Slow Motion Days! I’ve been left off the memo as well, but on the long and just-winding-enough-not-to-be-able-to-pass road into work the celebrations are held regularly. I have been wondering whether they’re illiterate, or if their speedometers are broken, or if they just never check their rear-view mirrors to see the vast trains of impatient drivers they’re accumulating behind them – but now it all makes sense!

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